So this post will be a bit of a departure from the campaign and hobby focused blog posts. I really want to talk about how building a solid gaming group can enrich your whole life.
I recognize that I have been slacking in my blogging this year. Part of that is because I have had a really rough time in my real life. While I have kept up a solid regime of regular painting, playing games and blogging have really taken a back seat. I have been dealing with a number or personal and family issues that I won't get into, but because of the stress of everything and all my worrying I had pushed everyone back and isolated myself. By and large,I have had a good life. Parents who love me, 3 beautiful, healthy, and smart children, an amazing wife, a good job, great friends, the list of things that I am grateful of goes on and on. But in the last 3 months certain things have influenced situations to make this one of the worst periods of my life. Now, things are getting much better and I am a lot happier. There's still a lot of work ahead of me, but it's getting better every day.
The reason that I am bringing all of this up is that I learned something incredibly important. The worse things got, the more I isolated myself, and things began to spiral out of control. In a vain effort to keep the rest of my life in balance, I also tried to exert control on something really minor in our campaign. It was stupid, foolish, and caused a divide between me and one of my good friends. You see, the root of the problem is that not everyone's hobby is the same. In fact, that is what I believe makes this hobby so amazing. Everyone takes part in the various aspects in various degrees, and that uniqueness adds flavour and variety. I tried to force people to participate in my personal flavour of the hobby, and it just can't work that way. I was also so focused on trying to make sure that people had fun in the campaign, I forgot the part about it being a competition. With how little time I get to actually play games, my personal focus is on enjoying that game as much as possible. To me, two softer lists played in a relaxed environment is hugely more enjoyable than taking two hardcore lists and pushing every tactical decision to the max. The truth is, both styles of play have their own merits. I also know that I enjoy competitive play in the 40k universe better than Fantasy because the 40k community has spent a lot of time and effort trying to balance the game.
But I digress. When everything finally hit the bottom, one of the lowest points in my entire life, I finally cracked. I didn't know what else to do anymore and just starting asking for help wherever I could. That was when I had this huge realization that really helped me turn everything around. When I started talking to my gaming buddies, I found a wealth of people who really cared about me and wanted to help me. Right now it all seems so simple that it's silly, but even some of the newest additions to the group have shown me a level of kindness and support that helped me to realize that to them I am more than just someone who they play toy soldier with.
Over the years the dynamic of the people that I game with has changed and evolved. Because of my experiences over the last 13 years I will say this. Surround yourself with good people. If you regularly finish a game against someone and you're frustrated or unhappy because it wasn't fun, that's not a good thing. And there's a gigantic difference between having fun in a game and winning the game. There are a whole host of people that I have fun playing against, even when I lose. Guys in my group like Neil, Nick, Josh, Mike, Scott, Colin, and Jody. They're all great people who are fun to play against, win or lose. (And I'm not leaving any names out on purpose, as there are at times 20+ people that I can game against, but these are the guys I'm closest to.)
At the end of the day, it's your hobby and you should enjoy it. And if you're going through a tough time, maybe privately talk to some of your gamer buddies about it. You may find that they can help you out a lot too.
My final parting point is this. My boss said it to me when I had explained thst things were tough and I might need to take some time off. He said "Life happens to everyone, it's just your turn right now."
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